I got an e-newsletter from Christine Kane this morning in which she lists nine good reasons for going complaint-free. I look down at the purple bracelet on my right wrist and know I have Christine and Patti Digh to thank (and whichever blogger pointed me to Patti’s post, too) for sending out the invitation to do that challenge. It absolutely has changed my life. It has done for me all the things that Christine lists in her nine reasons to go complaint free.
For me the biggest change and the one having the most impact on my life has been that I’ve become more solution oriented. It amazes me on a daily basis how much people complain about things they could very easily change. Often it seems they cannot even see that the impediment…the thing they are complaining about…is their own creation.
At other times I notice how often people spend precious life energy whining about things that they absolutely cannot change. Things that have already happened. Teachers such as Pema Chodron and Thich Nhat Hanh, through their books and videos, have taught me the importance of loving what is. What already is IS my life. This is it. Will I spend my life resisting what already is or exploring it with curiosity and love…and respect for what it has to teach me?
I sat on the mat this morning, patio door open to the breeze and morning sun, doing square breathing. I am finding that counting my breaths plus focusing on the 4-4-4-4 pattern (of breathing in for four counts, holding for four, exhaling for four and waiting for four before inhaling again) keeps my mind so focused that there is no room for beta mind to worry, fantasize, ruminate, or otherwise run wild and take me off task. Before long, I am slipping into another brain wave pattern and meditation becomes easier to maintain.
When I was done meditating, I looked over at the trailing plant beside me, a cascade of little green leaves spilling down the side of the table, half of them backlit by the morning sun, the other half shaded by the leaves closer to the sun, all forming a dance song of light and shadow. There is nothing to lose. There is nothing to gain. There is only pure experience.
Precious experience.
Your precious experience inspires me to have those of my own.
Blessing and love to you, Wonderful Kelly.
You’ve just put a big beaming smile on my face, Kim. :) K
I love coming here and meditating on what you have written for the day. it’s a good way to start my day in postive thinking!
Kelly, while I am nowhere near as dedicated to the process of maintaining complaint-free space around me, I have noticed from my own time when I focused very intently on not whining or complaining–it was you, Olivia, and I who shared some of our experiences with each other back then–that I now quickly grow uncomfortable when in any environment where people are openly having a whining contest, each trying to surpass the other in complaining about life in general and specific people and events.
It has stuck with me at some level, that prolonged effort to stop my own complaining, and I’m happy for that. I know I have a long way to go before I can claim to be good at it, but I’m better than I was before Patti and Christine publicized the program.
I have not tried the breathing technique you describe, but I plan to now. It sounds like a great way to ease my monkey mind into something more calm and observant.
And, please allow me to express hearty congratulations on getting your foot in the door as a teacher! It is wonderful to learn you are now starting the career you trained so diligently toward beginning. You will be great, and your students will love you as their teacher!
Rick, Very cool! I have periods when I start to slip and then I put the bracelet back on. Thank you for reminding me how Patti’s (Christine’s) challenge made its way to me. Love and hugs, K