Grace in Small Things – 358

I got an e-newsletter from Christine Kane this morning in which she lists nine good reasons for going complaint-free.  I look down at the purple bracelet on my right wrist and know I have Christine and Patti Digh to thank (and whichever blogger pointed me to Patti’s post, too) for sending out the invitation to do that challenge.  It absolutely has changed my life.  It has done for me all the things that Christine lists in her nine reasons to go complaint free.

For me the biggest change and the one having the most impact on my life has been that I’ve become more solution oriented.  It amazes me on a daily basis how much people complain about things they could very easily change. Often it seems they cannot even see that the impediment…the thing they are complaining about…is their own creation.

At other times I notice how often people spend precious life energy whining about things that they absolutely cannot change. Things that have already happened.  Teachers such as Pema Chodron and Thich Nhat Hanh, through their books and videos, have taught me the importance of loving what is.  What already is IS my life. This is it. Will I spend my life resisting what already is or exploring it with curiosity and love…and respect for what it has to teach me?

I sat on the mat this morning, patio door open to the breeze and morning sun, doing square breathing.  I am finding that counting my breaths plus focusing on the 4-4-4-4 pattern (of breathing in for four counts, holding for four, exhaling for four and waiting for four before inhaling again) keeps my mind so focused that there is no room for beta mind to worry, fantasize, ruminate, or otherwise run wild and take me off task.  Before long, I am slipping into another brain wave pattern and meditation becomes easier to maintain.

When I was done meditating, I looked over at the trailing plant beside me, a cascade of little green leaves spilling down the side of the table, half of them backlit by the morning sun, the other half shaded by the leaves closer to the sun, all forming a dance song of light and shadow.  There is nothing to lose. There is nothing to gain.  There is only pure experience.

Precious experience.

Grace in Small Things – 355

Holy! Only ten GiST posts to go after this.

• Someone left a kind comment on my Farsi Primer YouTube video. In fact, about a zillion people have left kind comments, most of which I cannot read because they are in Farsi and my Farsi never got past the stage of “Saraa has a basket of pomegranates. Daraa does not have a basket of pomegranates.”
• There are few times when I’m happier than when I’m cooking. This batch of vegetable Masala turned out better than ever!  I also cooked a butternut squash in the microwave then scooped out the flesh and mixed it with brown sugar and butter. YUM!
• Pa was having a hard day with both weakness, some confusion and a head cold. But we still managed to have a good time…fighting after supper over who got to lick the bowl that the meringue was in. He won.
• I like the fact that I can usually tame my mind when it starts churning out crazy stories to make me anxious. I have so many good tools in my toolbox.

Grace in Small Things – 354

I had a really nice morning with Sylvain’s folks. Pa chatted with me instead of taking a nap after breakfast. We talked about all kinds of things, including where I disappear to on Saturday evenings. Mostly he wanted to talk about ways he can be more independent and not have to ask someone every time he needs something.  We started brainstorming some solutions. After lunch he wanted to go get the key to the shed and take a walk in the yard. Before I knew it, he had abandoned his walker and was wrangling the lawnmower. Meanwhile I tried to wrangle him (and make sure he didn’t fall). I let him putter for a while until the PSW arrived; she and Ma came to my rescue.

At one point when Pa was resting, I had a good talk with Ma.  She is a lot more pleasant to be around now that she isn’t under so much stress.

I enjoyed a little outing to the grocery store to buy vegetables so I can cook up a big batch of veggie Masala tomorrow. I got zucchini, broccoli, local potatoes and mushrooms, and a butternut squash.

My hospice shift went really well. I got on a lot better this time with the person who got under my skin a couple of weeks ago.

I made simply orange chicken, mashed potatoes and broccoli with a little bowl of fresh fruit on the side (melon, strawberries, pineapple).  Once trays were delivered, I was able to sneak away for a little while to sit with my new friend in room X.  Those eyes! That hint of a smile!  We held hands for a bit before I had to go back to the kitchen.

It was a good day.

Grace in Small Things – 353

• Time alone
• Helping Pa and Sylvain barbecue. Although M had left by the time I got there, I heard that Pa had put together two of the veggie skewers by himself.
• I like that about his new PSW (M); she gets him involved in all the things he can do to feel useful. She is a sweet and patient young woman.
• The sun came out while we were sitting out on the deck
• Ma and I are getting along better than we ever have before.  Not that we didn’t before! But somehow we are closer since Pa’s hospital adventure.

GiST 351

I managed to lose a blog post.  Ok, well…here were the highlights…

• Weeding the garden with Pa
• A fun outing with Sylvain
• A good hospice training session tonight
• Having my group mates share with me their earliest significant experience with death
• Sharing the same thing with them

What I learned today: about anticipatory grief.

I also learned that I am not the only adult around who ended up angry with one parent for not having been allowed to attend the funeral of the other parent. Fortunately, I long ago worked through said anger by talking about it with my mom. My classmate is still not over it.

P.S.    Requiescat in pace, Chani

Grace in Small Things – 348

• I’m glad Sylvain talked me into going with him to the Enviro Expo today, even if we did have to traverse the slot machine room of the casino to get there.
• I think I have a cold or a sinus infection, but I’m not complaining since it’s the first time I’ve been sick in over a year.
• Ricola.
• I made Pa laugh tonight when we were joking around.
• Last night as I was settling down to sleep, I got a good message that pierced the crazy fog of my ego head. It said, “There is nothing to be won or lost here.”  It meant that there is only the experience, and it has the same value (precious beyond measure) no matter what is happening in the phenomenal world.

=========

What I learned today: we learned a lot about solar panels and wind turbines for houses, about the Detroit River clean-up, about cycling and about the fight to keep big box store development from damaging rare tall grass prairie habitat at Ojibway Nature Preserve.

Grace in Small Things – 344

• It’s Sylvain’s birthday today! Go over and wish him a happy one!
• I have already finished my shift with Pa today because I have a volunteer appreciation banquet tonight. So now I am sitting with the patio door open and working on my lesson planning database. I’ve finished the tedious stage of entering data into tables. Now comes the fun part of designing the GUI!
• Pa is having an amazingly wonderful day! He is taking big strides instead of his usual little shuffling steps. At lunch I started to cut his sausage for him and he told me he wanted to try. Then he succeeded in cutting up the whole thing himself and feeding himself his entire lunch.  Then he wanted to take a walk around outside instead of going to his recliner, so we did. AND (this is the most amazing part) I understood every single thing he said to me…and it was a lot! I don’t think that has ever been the case in the three years that I’ve known him.  He said he wants Sylvain to make him a walkway to the shed so he can go there anytime he wants. And he said he needs to trim the dead ivy off the side of the house, and he would do except Ma would yell at him. And he said maybe he could do some gardening sitting down if he had a chair. I told him we could probably set that up now that he has M to help him.  When we got back up to the deck to sit down, he tried to open the big shade umbrella while I tried to talk him into sitting down so I could do it.  I reminded him of the importance of NO MORE FALLS and he settled down a bit.  We were chatting away under the parasol when M arrived to relieve me at one.
• While Pa was taking his pre-lunch nap, I got the humming bird feeders out, washed them and made up a batch of syrup. I filled them and hung them up after lunch.
• I found a snippet of poetry written in Farsi on a torn-off corner of notebook paper. It was written down and given to me by my TESL classmate R when I was in Toronto. I put it up on my fridge, where it can move me to tears regularly.  It begins, “zendegi khaali nist….”

What I learned today: I read up on the drug Exelon and learned about how it works.

Grace in Small Things – 343

• Thanks to the memo regarding a building-wide water shut-off today for plumbing repairs, I got out of bed earlier.
• I had time to work on my database before heading over to Sylvain’s house to make supper and relieve the PSW, who had been there since ten.
• Pa had a good day with M. She made pirogies for his lunch, and they learned from the physiotherapist some exercises he can do daily.
• While Sylvain was at his board meeting, Pa and I had a cute conversation. I opened the maple sugar candies box to offer him the last one. I’m not sure what he said, but I thought I heard Sylvain’s name in there somewhere, so I assumed he was saying maybe Sylvain would want the last one. I told him it would be okay because I would throw away the box and nobody would ever know. There was no mistaking what he said next; as he took the last candy, he said, “Hide the box.”
• Ma got the satisfaction of seeing me gain more understanding of what she’s been going through. See, Pa was a handful tonight. First I got to learn firsthand why I like pull-ups better than tab closures. The latter are much harder to put on someone else while they are standing and trying to keep their balance. Ma had to come help us. When I came out of the washroom, she said to me, “See? You are tired after only 15 minutes of work.” I told her, “You’re right; I’m sweating.” Then during the time when I thought I might finally sit and read for a bit–a time when Pa always naps–he started playing with the remote on his lift-chair to get up. He’d gotten a wild hair and could not be dissuaded even when I told him that his walk meant I would have to follow him. He did not desist even when I told him the other PSW was coming soon and he’d better rest while he had the chance. Nope. Since I wasn’t willing to sit on him or tie him down, we went for the walk.  At one point he ditched his walker in order to squeeze past a some furniture and get to a little side table, where he began rifling through some papers. “Stay with your walker, please,” I was pleading, but he was ignoring me.  Ma and I finally figured out that he was looking for his brother’s phone number so he could call Quebec. She talked him into sitting back down, promising they would call the brother tomorrow night. When Sylvain got home from his meeting, I ratted Pa out. “Now I know why your mom calls him tête de pioche!” I said, throwing up my hands.  When I looked over to see if Sylvain was empathizing with my plight, I saw that he was getting choked up. “He hasn’t been like that for months. That’s my dad. That’s my old dad back,” he said.

Grace in Small Things – 342

Wow, what a day. I got back home late and was too worn out to post.

I arrived at Sylvain’s house with the groceries just ahead of the patient transport van. Pa had a big day. He met his new private PSW, M. She is a real sweetie. She is young; we think this is probably her very first assignment since graduating. She and Pa seemed to hit it off.  He took a walk with her around the house and out onto the back deck. She helped him with his supper; I had made a pasta dish and mango salad that had cucumbers and lime juice.  I have never seen that man not clean his plate.

There was a little bit of a glitch in the scheduling of the community PSW, which meant I stayed to help Pa get to bed, but that is ironed out as of today.

I learned a lot.  I learned that caring for someone with advanced Parkinson’s in the home is a lot harder than it looks. Ma said to me more than once, “I was doing all of this by myself.”  I feel a pang of shame that I didn’t realize the enormity of the burden she was carrying by herself.  She told me that when a relative of hers took care of her spouse after his stroke for two years, she thought she understood what that person was going through. She said, “but you can’t know until you do it yourself.”  I am beginning to understand the truth of that.  You can’t possibly know how stressful or tiring it is until you yourself do it. Even if you aren’t doing any physical lifting or anything to hurt your back, the fatigue comes from not being able to leave the person’s side unless you know they are sound asleep. Even then, you can only make quick dashes to other parts of the house or yard–lest the person wake up and try to do something unwise.

I used to not understand why family members would become impatient with him, but I started to understand it just a little bit last night. The stronger he gets, the more he wants to do.  I know he’s had it in his head before that he has to contribute to the running of the household in order to earn his keep. He gets this notion that if he is able to garden again, or mow the lawn, we won’t send him away.  Intellectually speaking I think he knows it’s not true, but you can see that thought process come back to his mind now and then.  When he tries to do more than he should–given his balance problems–all it does is mean those around him have to be constantly on guard, watching him to make sure he isn’t getting into an unsafe situation.  So this time when I overheard Ma say to him, “would you just sit still for a while?” I didn’t begrudge her the sentiment.

Anyway, the schedule we used yesterday worked pretty well. Tonight the community PSW will get him up, help him shower and dress and bring him to the breakfast table then leave. The private PSW will come an hour later and help him to the washroom and then to his chair.  She is getting training today from his physical therapist in exercises she can do with him when he’s not napping.  I will go over around 3:30 or 4:00 to start supper and relieve the private PSW.  The community PSW will come back at bedtime to help him get ready for bed and into bed.

A lot of good things are happening. For one, I am getting to where I can understand him better when he speaks. This means I don’t always have to panic and call Sylvain over to interpret for us. For another, he SEEMS to have gotten over his discomfort with letting me help him with intimate personal things, which is very helpful because it means I can help him in the washroom or with dressing.  That’s really a key thing because it means that if the only two helpers during a particular period are me and Ma, she doesn’t have to be the sole person helping him with those two things.  I find it helps put him at ease if I show a sense of humour about it.

Another bright moment was after the hired PSW had left and we were taking a walk around the house. I was standing near him just in case he lost his balance. Sylvain was asking him what he thought of M. He agreed she is a sweetheart and then added, “I get on good with this one,” then looked up at me with a huge grin and sparkle in his eyes.

======

What I learned recently:  We learned that with a person with Parkinson’s who freezes when locomotion is needed, it can help to give him a target to walk toward. This can mean tossing a ball out in front of them and telling them to follow it. Somehow that helps them break the “freeze” and start moving in that direction.  So we can start using tricks like that, having someone walk ahead of him and say, “follow him.”

I have also learned that one of the cognitive effects of Parkinson’s can make it difficult or impossible for the person to process stacked commands. So instead of saying “let’s turn around, walk back to the living room and sit down,” just give the person the next step. Otherwise they might only process the last thing they heard in the stack of commands ( “sit down”) and try to sit down right then and there, whether or not there is a chair available!

Grace in Small Things – 340, 341

Ah, today was a better day.

Last night I went to the section of my book case where I keep a few good dhamma books and pulled one out to help me with my crazy head. Dilgo Khyentse succeeded in reminding me that all suffering comes from the false belief in an “I.”  I calmed right down after reading that, though as I drifted off to sleep, I heard my voice say aloud, “Wait! Who is it that isn’t worried anymore?”

This morning I had a some good time on the mat.

The sun came out.

I helped Sylvain by creating a spreadsheet in Excel so we could map out the new schedule for Pa’s in-home care. We are trying this for about a month to see how it goes.  I put times across the top of a landscape-oriented sheet and days of the week along the left margin.  The different supporting parties are colour-coded. The government sponsored (free) community care–of which we can get a max of two hours a day–is blue. The expensive people who will only come out in minimum 3-hour blocks are red. Since I am not working right now, I’m going to do my best to help fill in gaps when paid people are not there. I’m yellow.

Tomorrow I will get dinner going while the rest of the family is up at the hospital getting him signed out.

I took the box of maple sugar candies back with me for tonight’s visit, and Pa’s eyes lit up again when I took it out. We had to hide the box after his second piece, lest he make himself sick on too much sugar.

We all realize this arrangement might not work out, but I for one am glad the family is willing to try it.

Today in the hospital, after I had helped the nurse help Pa with some personal care, he thanked me and apologized for the trouble. I told him it was okay, that he helped his children in that way when they were little and my mom helped me in that way when I was little.  There comes a day when it’s the children’s turn to help their parents in the same way.  I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was giving that some thought.

Grace in Small Things – 339

• The violet I transplanted and gave different potting medium is SO happy. Her little leaves are all upright and rigid now. Maybe she will start to bloom like the rescued one does.
• I learned lots of good stuff today from Teach Like a Champion, such as not to get hung up on how creative my lesson plan is and how many bells and whistles it has while losing sight of “Will it be the best and fastest way to help me reach the goal?”
• I learned more good stuff today from Olenka Bilash’s site, like the implications of Vygotsky’s Zone of Proximal Development for pairing and grouping students for different types of activities.
• I got maple sugar candy in the mail today from Suki!
• I shared the maple sugar candy with Pa, whose eyes lit up when he saw it.

What I learned today: See points 2 and 3 above.  ;)

What I shared or showed: I emailed a former classmate to tell her about the good videos I found.

Dream: Cree Fish Story Game

Before going to bed, I had read Violet’s blog post about cleaning up barf. Sylvain and I got to talking about vomit. Then what happened? I went to bed and got to feeling sick. I ended up losing everything I had eaten since mid-afternoon. I don’t think it was a stomach virus. I think it was my body telling me please to never again combine the particular things I had eaten that day…and certainly not in those quantities.

When the alarm went off, I was still feeling a bit nasty from the previous evening’s gastrointestinal activities, so I hit snooze and played the sick card for all it was worth. When I awoke later, I realized I’d been having an intriguing dream.

I was a new teacher and it was day two of classes. Day one had gone well; I’d been prepared with thorough lesson plans for every part of the class. I realized just as class was starting, though, that I had either failed to prepare lessons for this day or had left my briefcase somewhere.  I was wondering what on earth I was going to do for the class period without my lesson plans and hand-outs.  All the students were over 18 but not by much. I’m not sure what subject I was teaching, it didn’t look or feel like an ESL class.  Several of these young adults had ducked out the back door for a quick smoke, which displeased me since we were supposed to have started class already.  I called out to them, “Guys, you need to get your smoking done before class starts.”

Some responded by coming inside, two young men did not. Then a more experienced teacher poked her head in to check on me and told me I can’t let them get away with that…holding up the start of class.  So I latched the door; they would have to walk all the way around the building to come back to class.  Hopefully this would extinguish the behaviour starting the next day.

I looked down and saw that one young woman had brought in something because there was a game they wanted to play. I thought this was great because I had forgotten my valise. What a relief! How much time will it take up? They won’t even have to know that I’m totally unprepared today, we’ll play this game of theirs, whatever it is.  I looked down at her handouts; she had made enough for everyone.  The instructions were written in Cree.  She was explaining how to play to another student. I noticed she was speaking Cree to that other student!  Then I saw the instructions were also in English, so I started reading one of the sheets in hopes of catching on to how this game would be played.  The passage I was reading said something about the time at end of the world, how everyone left would be honest. It said something about a certain kind of fish that would be considered sacred and not eaten due to what it symbolized. Again, something to do with honesty and authenticity.

I was feeling a little bit uneasy about the fact that class wasn’t getting off to an energized, interesting start. I imagined that some students were already becoming restless and bored while we figured out how to play this game.

The two men came back inside, having trekked around the outside of the building wrapped in sheets, not sufficient protection against the weather if one is going to be walking around the whole building rather than just ducking momentarily out the back door of the classroom.

When I woke up, I was so curious to know if the language the woman spoke in my dream really sounded like Cree. It had interesting glottal stops. I found some people speaking Cree on YouTube. It did not sound very much like the language being spoken in my dream. I also wondered if there really was a Cree myth about the end of time and a fish, but it seems my dream mind made that up, too.

Grace in Small Things – 334

I went for a walk looking for signs of spring. Here is my list.

• yellow dandelions dotting the grass by one out-building
• the song of male Red-winged Blackbirds as they stake out territory and wait for the females to arrive
• the slender shoots of daffodils poking up out of the dark mud
• forsythia bushes in full bloom
• weeping willows starting to leaf out
• clover
• the long, clear whistled notes of the male Northern Cardinal
• mild breezes
• sitting down on a park bench to find the wood is warmer than my bum
• male Cottonwood catkins exploding with yellow pollen
• a father holding the hand of a little girl learning to use her new skates
• a happy cat sunning on a front porch
• a new kite stuck in a tree

Easter

R had run out of soup by noon and had to make a second huge pot, which is almost unheard of.  He told me when I arrived at 4:00 that he must have made fifty pots of coffee in four hours.  Maybe it’s because of the holiday weekend, or maybe it’s that many of the residents are in their final days and hours.  Sometimes that happens… a weird death synchronicity.

By the time I got there he already had the Easter dinner almost done. I watched him open the oven door to baste the huge ham.  Next he was scooping the flesh out of a butternut squash.  He had made a sweet potato dish AND had regular potatoes on to boil, which he mashed while I was putting on more coffee.  There was corn, too.  I kept telling him that his shift was over and he could leave, but he wanted to make sure I didn’t have any trouble with any of it. He stayed over an hour past the end of his shift, carving the ham and making a glaze from the apple juice and drippings under the ham that acted like a gravy for each plate.

Not only that, but he also heated up a different item for our one resident who didn’t want the Easter meal…the one who only wants one thing, the same thing, night after night.

I kept incoming dirty dishes under control while he finished cooking.

There was a memo on the clipboard for all the volunteers saying that the Easter dinner was for residents AND staff and volunteers.  I felt awkward sitting down at the dining table with my plate of veggies, the smell of ham filling the place, when we weren’t allowed to offer any to the families.

The next thing I knew a volunteer near me was having some sort of hushed exchange with a staff member.  ”Oh, I didn’t know that,” I heard the volunteer saying, “I thought it was for everybody.”

She hadn’t understood the Easter dinner was not extended to visitors and had told some visitors to help themselves.

“It’s just as well,” I muttered to my plate,  ”I don’t feel right eating this in front of them.”

I think we all felt better once the slip up had happened. Family members began streaming from the halls into the kitchen to join the line-up for dinner.  Everyone gushed over R’s syrupy apple gravy.

For dessert there were two store-bought pies and a home-made pineapple upside-down cake.  A family member brought in two trays of cup cakes she had just made.

I had to beat people away from the sink afterward; several of them wanted to do the dishes!  It felt good…like we were all family now.

Grace in Small Things – 332, 333

It’s a very stressful time right now due to things going on with Pa and Sylvain’s whole family. It’s times like these when it’s especially important, I think, to find the Grace in small things:

• We have each other; nobody is in this alone. Sometimes we get angry with each other over past mistakes and the ramifications of those mistakes that we now have to live with, but in the end we love each other and understand that not one of us is perfect.
• I awoke this morning with my head abuzz with worrisome thoughts and the accompanying feeling of anxiety that settles in my chest. Instead of sitting meditation, I decided to do window washing meditation.
• Glass patio doors so clean you could almost crash into them trying to walk right through if you didn’t already know they were there. Washing windows is a ritual for a warm spring day that I have loved since I was a little girl. I enjoy cleaning both sides and then spotting the areas that are still smudgy on the first side, going back to clean that side again…and so forth until the glass is perfectly spotless and without streaks.
• Although I admit that perfectionism can be a threat to good mental health, sometimes it brings with it tasty joys that the non-perfectionist never gets to experience.
• Window washing meditation worked wonders on my head space. It shut down the brain chatter and brought me to the present moment…and gave me a feeling of energy and momentum for the next right thing of the day.
• Sleeping with the windows open. Oh, I love mild weather!
• The tulips in the little green plastic pot on my balcony that I assumed were dead are not dead. They are coming up again!
• The African Violet has 22 blooms. She is one very joyful violet.
• Today is hospice day and I am looking forward to being there. I emailed another volunteer to find out how things are up there right now, and it sounds like I’ll be putting on lots of pots of fresh coffee for family/visitors.
• I’ve gotten lots of good ideas for classroom activities this week, plus received a box full of printable activities and CDs with listening texts…all free of charge.

DREAMS: Two nights ago I dreamed about a very large, very dark-skinned African woman. She got me in a tight embrace and was kissing me on the mouth and wouldn’t let go.  It wasn’t 100% comfortable, but I could feel that she loved me.

Grace in Small Things – 331

Today was a day of many graces, but also some difficulties.  We had a scare with Sylvain’s dad. He’s fine, but has to stay in the hospital over Easter weekend because they are checking everything out from top to bottom and some of the tests and consultations can’t take place until after the long weekend.

• We’ve learned a lot.
• It’s been a wake-up call of sorts.
• The incident prompted me to go online and do a lot of reading about Parkinson’s. The more we educate ourselves, the better equipped we are to help him.
• The sun shone all day today. It was so warm that I went without even a light wrap. In fact, my patio door is open now.
• Pa is in good spirits.

What I learned today:  I learned that Parkinson’s can cause a problem with finding the right word to say what you want to say.

What I shared or showed: I demonstrated and shared with Sylvain my determination and positive outlook.

If I Were a…

Thank you, Annie, for letting me copy this.

If I were a month I’d be the one with a blue moon.
If I were a day I’d be today.
If I were a time of day I’d be late afternoon.
If I were a font I’d be Calibri.
If I were a sea animal I’d be a hermit crab.
If I were a direction I’d be southwest.
If I were a piece of furniture I’d be a Shaker spice box.
If I were a liquid I’d be vanilla extract.
If I were a gemstone I’d be a blue star sapphire.
If I were a tree I’d be centuries-old bonsai.
If I were a tool I’d be a level.
If I were a flower I’d be chicory.
If I were an element of weather I’d be a warm summer rain.
If I were a musical instrument I’d be Pablo Casals’ cello.
If I were a color I’d be periwinkle.
If I were an emotion I’d be a flash of embarrassment that flushes the cheeks.
If I were a fruit I’d be a ripe persimmon.
If I were a sound I’d be wind chimes.
If I were an element I’d be water.
If I were a car I’d be a 1963 Karmann Ghia.
If I were a food I’d be Basmati rice.
If I were a place I’d be the old rock wall under the tall pines where I daydreamed as a child.
If I were material I’d be flax.
If I were a taste I’d be needing a bit more salt.
If I were a scent I’d be the smell of black earth under layers of leaves in the forest.
If I were a body part I’d be a contemplated navel.
If I were a song I’d be something ancient and Celtic involving a penny whistle.
If I were a bird I’d be a Snow Bunting.
If I were a gift I’d be the gift of knowledge.
If I were a city I’d be in transition.
If I were a door I’d be open a crack with interesting noises on the other side making you want to see what’s inside.
If I were a pair of shoes I’d be left lined up by the door.
If I were a poem I’d be a haiku.