Not Complaining about Not Complaining

It is probably easy to think that we who are doing the GWCC challenge are hard on ourselves when we slip. I didn’t realize till I read the comments that I’d conveyed that.  I really wasn’t disappointed in myself at all.  Hey, I went 24 days, which is 3 days longer than the original 21 days proposed in the book.  It takes the average person four to eight months to achieve that.

Slipping and starting again at day one is no big deal.  It’s really not the number of days that becomes important to you once you engage in this challenge.  It’s the process and the observing and learning that come to the forefront.  Oh, and the shift in the weight of the energy around you.
The reason I decided not to start counting days again right away was that I realized I had more self-care issues to address before I should start again.  I was and am doing wonderfully when it comes to enough sleep, my eight glasses of water a day (they keep the under-eye wrinkles away!) and basics like that.  Getting my alone time is a bit harder in winter without a car, but I’m doing okay there. Not great, but okay with plans in the works.  Once Sylvain and I opened up a dialogue about car shopping and the possibility of my moving to an apartment in the spring, my crankiness evaporated.  He is VERY keen to help me with the car decision… which model, whether to lease or buy, where to go to test drive.  See, he’s a CAR GUY.  It’s what he does for a living, too. He deals with vehicle technology info all day long and he likes it.

All of you who said that forgiveness is important are bang on.  I like the way Tolle puts it in one of the YouTube videos I watched. He talks about how consciousness means to welcome the present moment.  But let’s say you miss that chance to say yes to what is and you catch yourself resisting reality.  You’re irritated with the traffic jam, for example.  Well, then you have a second chance to accept what is by accepting your irritation.  Say yes to your irritation.  That’s okay. I am irritated.  Let there be irritation. I allow my irritation.  Now you’ve put a yes on top of the no, which transmutes it.  That is forgiveness.

I almost always remember now…as soon as I catch myself resisting something that is (something that for now cannot be left or changed), to forgive myself for the resistance by breathing mindfully and watching my resistance.  Often this leads to a good chuckle at my ego’s expense.

Even during this short hiatus before I start counting GWCC days again, I clearly feel how changed I am by the practice.  It is powerful and it is freeing. My ego has soooo much less power over me now than before.  I am freer to be happy and feel much more the master of my emotions and thoughts instead of being at their mercy.  I also feel I am contributing good energy to my environment, at home, at work and out in the world.

—–

I had two powerful dreams this week.  Both were in the new year and both were drastically different from my usual dreams. I take them as a very good sign. In the first dream I am looking down on a long canal with shallow water and a mud bottom.  My younger brother, Mike, is sitting in the water in his swim trunks.  I think my mom is there, too.  There are young men on personal watercraft and there are dolphins.  Yes, dolphins.  I am worried about the dolphins for fear the guys on the water scooters are going to crash into the dolphins and hurt them, but after some time observing, I see that isn’t happening.

When I woke up I asked myself what dolphins mean to me.  The first thing that came to my mind was that they can use echolocation to “see” who has sickness inside their bodies and they can help heal the sick person with little nudges of their bills. Did you know that? Yes, they can detect tumours and blockages, slight nerve problems or spinal misalignments, etc. and they have helped people with chronic pain.

The next night I dreamed a woman was lying on a blanket on the grass in front of me…lying prone like a patient in just underwear and I was holding my hands a couple of inches over her body, palms down.  I was supposed to move my hands in a clockwise circular motion …the left hand over her heart and my right hand over her solar plexus.  It took me a minute to get the hang of how to move my hands (I’m right/left challenged even in my dreams.)  When I felt my hands become heavier and heavier with the bad energy, I would move my hands over the grass and shake off that bad energy like I was shaking off water.  Then I would repeat the process.

I awoke just amazed at this dream in which I was healing someone with my hands. Wow!  I don’t think I’ve ever dreamed anything quite like that before.

Two dreams in a row of healing.  And if Jung had it right that each character in our dream is a part of us, then a part of me is currently healing another part of me.