Falling into Place

I have just spent three days and three nights in the company of someone I was meeting for the first time.

There are no words to describe what we have just experienced. Beforehand, we both felt 99% sure we would be as compatible in person as we were via phone calls and e-mails. But what happened once we were in each other’s presence was beyond either of our wildest hopes or fantasies.

Everything was easy. Everything flowed. It was one discovery of compatibility after another.

Often it can be difficult for me to travel with someone or even go on a day trip with a friend because I am so easily over stimulated. As a highly sensitive person, I have to remember to stay hydrated and to eat on time. It would normally be hard to stick to a high-fibre, no-sugar, no-gluten diet while in a tourist trap without coming across as the most high-maintenance person in the world. I carry ear plugs in case I get trapped in a restaurant or store that is overwhelmingly noisy.

But Sylvain is vibrating on my frequency. We communicate volumes with a glance, seek out the quiet corners, steady and soothe each other.

Eating right ended up being no problem. A couple of older parking valets were able to direct us to a fresh produce market where we stocked up on healthful stuff before finding a place for a picnic. A drive along Lakeshore Road in Niagara-on-the-Lake brought us to the most idyllic place on earth for a midday repast. From a park bench we watched Brown Creepers investigating the trunks of the deciduous trees between us and the water. In the distance, Bufflehead and grebes disappeared under the water, popping back up like white corks to the surface. Sylvain wanted to know how I knew the birds high above were chickadees and the ones prying up bark were creepers. He made me promise to get my spotting scope back from the friend to whom it has been loaned. I kicked off my sandals and put my feet in his lap.

On visiting Changing Places just now, I found words to describe how we both felt for three solid days:

Everyone has some moments of freedom, moments when one seems to “fall in place”. When I “fall into place”, I am free. These fleeting moments of falling into place are experienced by all human beings. That everything is in place is evidenced by not wanting anything to be different in the circumstances of the moment.

When I do not want anything to be different, I know that I have fallen into place with what is. I know fulfillment. I need make no change to become contented. I am, for the moment, free – from the need to struggle for some change in me or the circumstances.

Free is a perfect word to describe how I feel in Sylvain’s presence. I feel free to be me…ALL of me. I can be goofy and silly, saying odd but friendly things to complete strangers. Once when we got on the hotel elevator, there was a girl of about eleven with her family. I looked left then right, then said to her in a low voice, “Excuse me, but… your shoelaces don’t match.” The poor girl just looked at her mom, wondering what to say to the crazy lady who might not know she meant to put on one green and one pink shoelace. As soon as we exited on our floor, Sylvain said to me, “You are so cool.” Why? Because he is the same way. He is happy being alive in the world, and that joie de vivre spills out of him in his daily encounters with other people.

I feel free to be bad at directions (never knowing which direction to turn on exiting the elevator), knowing he will never ridicule me or make me feel like an airhead. I feel free to ask for anything I want or need, knowing he is beside himself with joy at being able to fulfill one of my wishes.

Everything was easy.

The best part of the three days was discovering what a great team we are. Our abilities complement each other. At one point he saw me rushing through something and immediately knew I was no longer at ease. He took me aside, held my hands and told me exactly what I needed to hear to feel comfortable again.

I am feeling at peace and wonderfully exhausted now after three days of solid sunshine and negatively ionized air from the roaring water that crashes over the cliffs at a rate of 1.5 million bathtubfuls per minute.

Next comes meeting each other’s parents. My mom lives over 1000 miles away, so I am introducing Sylvain to her via a long letter I wrote this afternoon while sipping peppermint tisane in my cafe. I will meet his parents two weeks from now. I already love them, just from having seen photos, and because Sylvain’s affection for them is contagious.

“They are just going to love you,” he keeps telling me, pride twinkling in his eyes.

PS photo to come