Oshibori Dream

That last post should have been called the courage to love me. Thank you for your comments.  You’re right, that is what it’s all about.  Once I learn to love myself,  I can be an example to another.  Here’s how it’s done! Another really good point, the one Annie made, is not to get your expectations wrapped too firmly around a certain package or form that the answer to your prayers will take.

I had a dream last night.  I’m pretty excited about that because I’ve been in a dream drought lately.  I know everyone dreams every night, so it must just be that I’m not remembering them lately.  But this morning I remember, yay!

First I am in my mother’s guest room with my old flame, Cameron.  He is trying to make out with me and my mother is brining some strangers through the house on a tour.  These strangers are about five people, some of them men, in business suits.  When she gets to the room we’re in, she doesn’t knock.  So I try to get Cam’s attention, but he has his head down and is almost hiding in a shy childlike way.  This annoys me.  “Cam, come ON. There are PEOPLE here.”  He just wants to keep on kissing me as if there isn’t a tour coming through.  UGH!

So I get up and march into the other room, a large bathroom, where I cut myself a new hair style and take a bath.  The new hair style is just like I Dream of Jeanie or that doll I had when I was a little girl. Most of her hair was cut into a cute pageboy, but right at the top of her head there was this long, long hank of hair you could make longer or shorter via a knob on her back.  In my dream, it was just long, no knob in my back.

Cameron and I were now alienated.  He was mad at me because I was mad at him, and he was going out with a woman his own age who was all dressed up in a sparkly dress like they were going to the opera.  I told him, “you never show me affection in public.  Why do you only want to paw me behind closed doors?”

Then my most recent boyfriend, Michael, took me over to some friends’ house for dinner and activities.  Once we got there, though, he ignored me and stayed as far away from me as possible.   I noticed pictures of Japan everywhere, and hand-written Japanese under the pictures.  I sat down at the dinner table and our very large host began to explain to me what an oshibori is.  I interrupted this giant man to tell him I knew already what that was; I had lived in Japan for a year.  He had just begun to put Japanese food before us (and I was VERY hungry) when I had to use the washroom.

The washroom took me longer than I expected, and plus I got sidetracked cleaning the bathroom. I realized I was taking too long and returned to the table, but all the food had been put away.  Everyone had finished.  “Where’s my plate? I wasn’t done!” I said.  Nobody seemed to care, as now it was time for the show.

In this house lived a whole troupe of performing artists and some of them were going to rehearse one of their creations for us while others of the housemates looked on.  All the seats were taken, so I nestled in on the floor next to some women leaning up against the seat of the couch.  There was barely room for me to edge in and see the show.  Michael was somewhere far, far behind me.  I felt sad and lonely that he wouldn’t talk to me, but was still determined to have my own good time.

The act was very avante garde, lots of nudity.

The young women around me were pressing against me.  The one to my left held just the tips of my fingers.  I felt a sense of solidarity with these women.  It’s the men who are making me feel left out.  The women are making me feel included.

That’s all I remember.

Now that I’m awake I am only sure so far of one thing.  There are a lot of parts of me in action right now, but me (Ego) who should be in control is being marginalized.  This is true and has always been true in most of my dreams.  If there’s a car, I’m not the one driving it.  If there’s a house, it’s not my house.

Oh, and I know one other thing. Using the bathroom in a dream can often symbolize the dumping of your toxic stuff, the stuff you don’t need anymore.  In this dream I miss out on the food because I still have old to get rid of, and I get too caught up in that process.

Hm.